


The Ice Slips Away

by royai_namikaze (taki_hatake)



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Confrontations, Emotions, Friendship, Heartbreak, Hey, I actually don't have a plot, I'M NOT DEAD, Love, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Poetry but not, Talking, Worried Children, being responsible™, future relationship, if it goes anywhere, plot?, so let's see where this goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 20:12:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taki_hatake/pseuds/royai_namikaze
Summary: The change was so sudden but no one knew what had brought it on. Shoma was undoubtedly different.





	1. My Good Fortune is Your Bad Luck

3 months earlier  
Swiftly moving around the ice, he glided, happiness drifted off his arms and joy fell from his fingertips. The beauty that glimmered around him was undeniable. It was like all the charm in the universe gravitated towards him. He was god-like. Anyone would see the obvious love that was portrayed through his body for one person. That love was unquestionably unwavering. Nothing would ever seem like it was going to go wrong. 

~~~

The applause rang through the rink. His face bent towards the ground, emotion in every inch of his being. One tear fell down onto the ice, staying perfectly posed next to his skates. The glittering gems on his costume blending into the lights pointed down onto him. The silver and black from his attire weaving through the lights. The gold accents fused into the clothing surrounding him like a shroud of mystery. He stood in the light but he had never felt so alone like he was standing in the darkness.  
The ice was the only thing he had left. His life, his meaning, his everything, gone. His Yuzu. But Yuzuru wasn’t his anymore. No, not now. Not again. Everything was over and his safety net was ice. Cold, hard ice. The ice was there to push him up, but now all he wanted was to lie down on it and despair. He was gone. Mihoko had told him, ‘Channel your sadness, skate to sadness, empty your heart.’ so that’s what he did. After that day at NHK, he became one with the music of his long program. The voices in it, the sadness so evident in their song was now his calling. The grief falling from him was absorbed into the music, into his skating.  
Shoma used his feelings to catapult him to the top. He was unbeatable. His short program, originally music to contrast his depressing free skate, now was turning into a cry for the past to come back. He used that music to make people feel what he felt. He was grieving and he used it to his advantage. His once, happy, bright, short was still that way but it had undertones of despair in it. His movements weren’t completely enjoyable now. No, everyone could tell that, media interviews always asked, coaches, fans, other skaters, he told no one but his family and his one, loyal coach, Mihoko. Everyone was so determined to find out what catastrophic event had happened that it had so drastically changed Shoma.  
People were determined to come up with the reason why Shoma had so drastically changed over such a short time. One competition is was happiness, the next despairing grief. The change was so evident even if it happened so quickly. The press, media reviewers, dedicated fans, friends, random people, even a few family members who didn’t know, were trying to figure out what was wrong. They came up with absurd theories that made no sense while some of them came a little too close for comfort, but one thing was the same, no one, no one had figured out what was wrong. And he was determined to have it stay that way. No, no one would ever know.  
In everything he did, you could see undertones of sadness laced into it. People tried many ways to find out what had changed but Shoma had no plans to tell anyone. Why should he? No one else had to know and he liked it that way. He was alone in his own small, slowly shrinking, sad, insignificant world.  
“Shoma. Shoma. Shoma!”  
He heard his name being repeated but he was too lost in his thoughts to respond. A hand grasped his shoulder in an attempt to gain his attention. He jumped a literal foot in the air. He whirled around with his arms spread out into a defensive stance.  
“A little extreme, Sho.” Sota was standing behind him with Itsuki on his heels. The two of them had an identical look of concern evident on their faces. The two of them were determined to find the answer to the sudden change in Shoma’s emotions and life.  
Shoma relaxes and goes back to sitting on the bench he was on, right by the ice. “Do you want something?”  
“I’m so glad you asked!”  
“Great.”  
“Don’t be like that, Shoma. You don’t have constantly ignore me as soon as I express any kind of concern for you. We’re just worried about you. You’ve changed and I want to know why and SOMEONE won’t tell me.” Sota whips around to glare at Itsuki as he pretends to be looking around the room while whistling.  
“I can’t tell you and don’t want to. I’m sorry Sota. I don’t want people to know.” Shoma looks down to the floor sadly watching the dirt dance on the ground. He push past the two concerned boys and goes to the door to the ice where he greets his coach and begins to skate warm-up loops. The two boys watch despairingly as they are helpless to everything to do with the elder. He just continued to act that everything was fine when both of them knew he was not. 

~~~

Shoma was alone in his room. He curled into the sheets of the bed that sat in the hotel room. Searching through his things, he found what he was looking for; a black and white sweatshirt, not belonging to him. The faint smell of Yuzuru still clinging onto the clothing, his only reminder of what the love he thought would last forever. He lay there struggling to fall asleep as the tears just kept coming. He may be emotionless to others but that was only because he didn’t want to show the weakness clinging to his heart and soul. He was useless. He was a failure. He had no jumping ability at all. All the fallen jumps from the earlier practice replayed through his mind. He didn’t really have any talent. Why did he even try? 

What was the point of any of this?


	2. If I Were To Stop Would You Too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it ended now would you still be here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyy, I know it's been quite a few months and I'm really sorry. I just lost motivation. But I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you!

When he awoke that day, he realized something. He could not just ignore everything anymore. He decided that moment on that seemingly unimportant day, he would make a change. Shoma Uno would take his own life into his own hands.  
When he arrived at the rink that same morning, Mihoko gave him a long look before she spoke, “You’re different today. What changed?”  
“Just decided to take my own life into my own hands,” Shoma said and with that, he spun on his heel and retreated back to the bench to lace up his skates.  
He stands up with a determined look on his face. His skates hit the ice, and his body changes, he raises his head up, he was one with the ice. 

\---

 

The number glares back at him as his phone starts to buzz. He didn’t want this call. While he contemplates whether to answer it, suddenly stops. Oh, he thinks, it’s stopped ringing. And just when he thinks that he doesn’t need to worry about it again, that stupid device starts vibrating again. The name once again blinks onto the screen; Yuzuru Hanyu. He sighs, he should probably answer it. He didn’t want to but at the same time, he did. Shoma made his decision. A deep breath in and he taps the dreaded button. 

“Hello?”  
“Hello? Is this Shoma?”  
“Who else would it be, Yuzuru?”  
He laughs. Shoma’s heart hurts. “That's true,” he says. “Are you busy right now?”  
“No, I just got back from practice.”  
“Oh okay. That's good. How did it go?”  
“Fine.”  
“Good, good.”  
There was a long stretch of silence that followed that. Just when he was beginning to think that Yuzuru had hung up, a hoarse whisper came through the phone.  
“I'm sorry.”  
He said nothing, after all, what was he supposed to say after Yuzuru had offhanded him like a fly after his skating got too hard?  
“Could you just make some sort of noise to let me know you're still here?”  
His throat is scratchy but somehow he manages an affirming sound.  
“I know that I cast you off unfairly and that I hurt you. I broke up with you as soon as my skating issues escalated too much. But I wanted to tell you that I'll be coming to Nagoya tomorrow and I thought you should know. I'm really sorry about my choices and I thought maybe we could talk about us when I get there? If it's not too much to ask?”  
“Okay.”  
“Thank you!”  
“Okay.”  
“I'll see you tomorrow then.”  
“Okay.”  
“Goodbye, Shoma.”  
“Goodbye, Yuzuru.”  
Yuzuru then mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like I love you and then hastily hangs up. Shoma is left staring at his phone in shock and dread. What did he just agree to do? To meet Yuzuru? Is he going crazy? Shoma answers his own question, yes he most certainly is. With a long sigh, he throws his phone into a corner and curls up to try and fall asleep. 

 

\---

When Shoma awakes the next day he praises his abilities to sleep and then remembers his conversation from the evening before. Gods, he was going to kill Mihoko. And Sora and Itsuki for that matter. For once in his life, he actually moved exceptionally fast and was ready in less than 7 minutes. 

By the time he reached the rink his anger was soaring. Why hadn’t anyone told him? He wasn’t fragile! If someone, especially if that someone was Yuzuru Hanyu, was coming to his home rink then he deserves to know! He was an adult!  
He comes across Itsuki and Sota and their expressions instantly changed when they saw the look of murderous anger that was on his face. The two of them cowered in fear when he stopped in front of them.  
“Do you need something, Shoma?” Sota’s voice quavered a little bit. Shoma made a mental to note to save this occurrence when he actually managed to scare someone.  
“That’s one way of putting in, Sota.” He glared. “Yuzuru is coming here today.” He phrased as a statement, not a question. The looks on their faces ranged from disbelief to pure horror.  
“How did you find that out?” Itsuki asked nervously.  
“Funny story that is, really. Yuzuru called me last night.” After this the two younger boys exchanged nervous looks, they also looked like they would faint from surprise. Shoma continued anyway. “He called to tell me he was coming to the Nagoya rink today so that when I saw him I wouldn’t be surprised. Do you have any idea why he would need to do this?”  
“Maybe because he was worried that you wouldn’t know and wanted to make sure he didn’t scare you?” Sota suggested.  
“Why would he need to worry that I wouldn’t know?” Shoma smirked, finally he was getting somewhere. 

Unfortunately, Mihoko decide at that moment it was perfect to tell Sota and Shoma to get on the ice or she would freeze them to their skates. They took that as their cue to start doing what they actually do for a living and left Itsuki laughing at the pained expressions on their faces. 

\---

When he finally leaves the ice midday he runs into the one person he sincerely did not, under any circumstance, want to see, Yuzuru Hanyu.  
He was standing in the entrance to the locker rooms. Ice skates in hand and dressed training clothes, Yuzuru turned to him when he heard everyone around them stop talking and were staring behind him. Shoma noticed that the expression on his face seemed to be happy even with the under shadows of worry and anxiousness. The newcomer slowly raised a hand and waved to Shoma.  
“Hello, Shoma!” As his voice rang out, it seemed to shake everyone else out of their daze of surprise and everyone continued the conversations they were having.  
Shoma didn’t know what to do but somehow he managed to get himself out of whatever kind of shock he was in and greet the man. “Nice to see you, Yuzuru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo that was fun. Thanks for dealing with my awful writing and I hope you liked it. 
> 
> Do people even read these? I know I don't always. Leave a comment or kudos or something if you actually read these! I'm very curious. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting or kudo-ing or whatever. I will be writing probably only one more chapter which should be out by the end of October. Gratis tibi!


	3. Understand Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Shoma and Yuzuru finally have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and I'm late but I hope you like it.

They ended up staring at each other for quite some time before the initiative to say something. Shoma was determined to not be that first person to say something. Luckily, his stake-out worked.   
“So, where do you want to talk?” Yuzuru questioned.  
“Preferably somewhere the while rink isn't listening in to every word I say,” Shoma replies quite shortly.   
“Good idea. We could go outside?”  
Shoma considers this for a minute, Mihoko would probably be fine with him taking the rest of the day off, he had already practiced today and he had been improving rather quickly recently. He decided it was okay and nodded at the other skater. They both walked outside and found a bench to sit on. The air had just a tinge of chill behind it.   
“So…” Shoma hesitated.  
“Shoma, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I was an ass. I put my skating so far above you that I cast you off like a broken pencil or something. I wanted to tell you that I thought I would be better off without you as my boyfriend but I was wrong. I need you. You helped me so much as I didn’t realize that until I left you behind. I just really sorry.”  
“ Yuzu, I…”  
“I don’t expect total forgiveness, I understand if you hate me too and if you already moved on from me. All I would like to ask you is for a second chance. A do-over. A way to redo everything and make up for my mistakes.” Yuzuru was speaking in such a way it sounded like he was pleading with Shoma.   
The younger skater looked so lost. He had no idea what to say back to Yuzuru. He just stared back at him until Yuzuru started to fidget where he was, still trying to maintain eye contact with Shoma.   
“Are you serious?” Shoma asked, carefully.   
“I have never been more serious in my life,” Yuzu responds. “You mean the world and beyond to me.”  
The two of them share a smile. Shoma does not remember being so happy in such a long time. The duo just sat out in the cold, on a bench of chilled granite and stare. They look into each other’s eyes, finally understanding the opposite’s emotions. Smiling. Laughing. Talking. Crying. Understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I was late (again) I was busy. That's it. Doing important things as a young person in this world. 
> 
>  
> 
> I met the EU Ambassador and it was amazing so yeah. I needed to tell someone.


End file.
